Finding the "Off" Switch- Self Care Tuesdays

Do you feel like you're "always on" with regards to your work? Even when you are at home?  Depending on the type of work that we do, it can be very easy -and in some cases socially accepted/respected- that we don't ever leave the work mindset.  If you work in a social justice field you are always wearing your "activist" hat- ready to respond with a comment or explanation about how such-in-such is wrong or oppressive or dangerous, etc.  If you are law enforcement, you're constantly scanning your surroundings, taking note of all exits, etc.  In our work lives, these are attributes that place us in high esteem, it makes us good at what we do, and a model to others.  However, over time, this amount of hyper-vigilance is exhausting and detrimental to our health.   And because being hyper-vigilant is what makes us so good at what we do, it is very difficult to define that line between helpful and harmful.

So how do you know?  Are you exhausted all the time?  Are you constantly checking and re-checking your surroundings?  See everyone as a potential perpetrator or criminal?  Do you see every social situation in the context of "what is the worst case scenario" rather than "wow, this party sounds like fun to go to"?  Are you so wholly focused on your job that the rest of your life has no importance?  Does everything feel like a threat? Or that everything has the same level of urgency?  If any of these sounds familiar, then you are experiencing a trauma response of hyper-vigilance.

How do we find the "off" switch?
Hyper-vigilance is difficult to tone down or turn off in our lives as it requires a change in our behavior. Step one is recognizing this level of hyper-vigilance in ourselves.  The second step, is to try to find ways to decrease the level of hyper-vigilance in our lives.  Here are three ideas, however the possibilities of other suggestions are truly endless.

Disconnect yourself from technology:  Now, I'm not advocating that you throw your phone away or cancel your internet connection.  However find places in your schedule where you can give yourself a break from being online.  Leave your phone in your car when going to an exercise class.  Or if you are a person who is on-call often, in those moments where you are not on-call, leave your phone on vibrate for an hour or two in another room.  Set boundaries with yourself about when you check your work email.  If you happen to have your email open all the time (I'm guilty of this) give yourself permission not to check or respond to emails after, say, 7 or 8pm every night.  Or denote an hour as "no-email" hour in your office.  Statistically people look at their emails at 9am in whatever timezone they reside in, so if you declare a "no-email" hour from 11am-noon might work well for you.  Disconnecting yourself for small periods at a time now will make it easier for you to disconnect from work over time.

Don't eat lunch at your desk:  This one may sound crazy to alot of people, but a small change can make a major difference over time.  Most of us eat at our desks because we have so much on our plate that the idea of taking an hour for lunch seems completely impossible.  So....don't take an hour for lunch.  If you only have five minutes to wolf down a meal then you only have five minutes.  But take that five minutes away from your desk.  Sit in the breakroom (if you have one) or at a separate chair or table.  Don't bring anything else with you.  Just focus on eating.  It will feel alien at first, but over time, it will feel like a vacation.  Your digestion will improve as will your mood.

Learn to become "ok" with unscheduled time:  Ever felt like you have to "hurry up and relax"?  The busier our schedules the harder it is to give ourselves free time, and when we do we feel like we have to complete a whole bunch of things before we can "relax".  In that mindset, you've just made "relaxing" another item on your to-do list.  Relaxing is something that you have to ease your way into.  When running a marathon we know that you have to pace yourself or you will never make it to the end....but when we do cross that finish line, who just immediately stops running?  Not many. You keep running for a little longer, then slow to a walk, and then stop.   You need to have winding down time included....and scheduling winding down time isn't going to help you.  Start having unplanned/unscheduled down-time.  Allow yourself to stop working at a specific time and then when that time comes around, only then, should you figure out how you are going to spend the rest of your evening.  It may result in you walking around your home trying to figure out what to do next for a couple of hours (don't laugh, I've done this), but you know what?  It's OK.  It is all part of the process of re-learning how to engage with your life outside work.