Dedication: Self-Care Tuesday

Dedication: the quality of being dedicated or committed to a task or purpose.

If you do a google image search on the term "dedication" you'll see a lot of motivational (and a fair amount of demotivational) posters; each one sporting photos of a lone person running or climbing in exotic locales or of a person hard at work at their desk with the following taglines:

"If it's not worth dying for it's not worth living for"
"Excellence is bestowed upon those who tenaciously pursue one goal, each step bringing you closer to perfection."
"The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.- Mark Twain"
"Because winning isn't everything. It's the only thing."
"If the road is easy, you're likely going the wrong way."

Part of the "American dream" ideal is that if one only works hard enough, sacrifices enough, that they will be a success.  Which sounds great and wonderful, but for those of us who work in real world, we know that that reality is far from the truth. While we may intuitively know this, many of us still fall into the trap of "if only I work hard enough".  If you are in a field where you are helping victims, underserved communities, etc that mentality of sacrifice and hard work can be amplified.  There are several problems with this mindset.  First, that dedication and success only refers to the work that we do, not the person we are.  Second, that we are "alone" in our striving for success. And third, that the fruits of our dedication is something that can be measured.

We are definitely more than just our jobs, but depending on how closely tied we are to our work, this may be difficult if not impossible to see.  This is why self-care is so important.  Self-care gives us the space to be our individual self.  And if there is anything that we should be "dedicated" to in our work, it is to make sure that we have done enough self-care that we are still effective in all aspects of our lives.  This means that you need to do something that replenishes you EVERYDAY.  Whenever you start with a self-care plan, start with the basics: sleep, rest, proper diet, exercise, and time off.  If your first response to reading that line was "well it must be nice for them if they think that everyone can do that", it is a sign that you need to evaluate the feelings behind that.  The "must be nice" view is normally denoting a feeling of envy and/or longing. 

Self-care is also something in which we aren't alone in doing.  We can't do it all....not in our lives, and definitely not in our work.  We need and rely on our family, friends, and co-workers everyday.  And while we all know that feeling of being "needed" and the weight and responsibility it carries, how often do we acknowledge our sense of "needing" other people?  It isn't a sign of weakness, but of strength.  Humankind is always at its best when it collaborates.  Where in your life can you bring in more collaboration? How can you ask others for what you need in order to assist your self-care plans?  Is it asking someone to come with you while trying a new exercise class?  Is it letting your co-workers know that you aren't available by phone on your day off?  Be comfortable in asking for what you need.

It snowed this morning. I couldn't find my gloves or my ice scraper.  It was cold and I was tired.  And even though I was sure that no one would come to the Yoga for Advocates class this morning, I still made my way to the studio.  I'm ultimately glad that I did.  People came and we had a wonderful practice.  There was a sense of community and purpose.  In the office we show program success by measured outcomes and objectives.  Grant reports want hard numbers.  Success gets measured by the bottom line. This morning I realized that success and dedication are more than that.  Sometimes the small things can show more purpose and effort than the large things.  Sometimes it isn't the quantity that is important......but the quality.