Learning to be comfortable with boundaries- Self Care Tuesday

Last week on Self-Care Tuesday we challenged you to say "no" to new things in your life for a week.  The question is, did you do it? 

Many times it is easier to respect other people's boundaries than our own.  In fact, I've watched in awe of others around me able to firmly state their boundaries and reaffirm them in the face of someone trying to cross them.  I've applauded others who have worked hard to establish healthy boundaries in the face of a traumatic past.  I teach people how to establish those boundaries for themselves.....but when it comes to me.....I may not be doing that great.  It's not because I've failed.  It isn't because I haven't learned the maxim that saying no to others can equate to saying yes to myself.  The reason simply is....

Learning to be comfortable with the boundaries we have set takes time.

Self-care, developing healthy boundaries, etc is not something that happens overnight.  There is no quick fix.  Being patient with ourselves in this process means allowing ourselves to make mistakes.  Here's some things to keep in mind when thinking about our own boundaries:
Sometimes we only realize that we had a boundary when it's crossed by someone. 
Boundaries can be physical and emotional.
Healthy boundaries need to be firm but flexible...the more rigid or loose our boundaries are, the deeper the impact and hurt felt by those who cross them.
You may feel selfish or guilty when establishing a new boundary- it's rough, but worth it in the long run.
You can't caretake other people's responses to your boundaries.  This is about you and not them.

We also need to remember that there is a difference between "nice" to others and being truthful to someone.  Truth should always win out, especially if that truth is that you need to be kind to yourself.